A Life Of Sweet Surrender

Are you a peacemaker, a diplomat, an appeaser or a pacifier; maybe you're known as a 'go along to get along' kind of person who is silent except when it's time to negotiate a peace treaty? If so, you are living the life of sweet surrender. You are surrendering the opportunity to make a statement, take a stand or support something you believe in. On the down side, when you stand for nothing you are expected to be confident about nothing. You have been silenced with your consent.

Why does anyone accept this position? Could it be that they are afraid their opinion is not intelligent or has significant value, that they may offend someone who matters or even that they are insignificant? Somehow the people who have assumed this position in life manage to surround themselves with those who expect them to remain silent or negotiate them out of the places where they have placed their foot squarely in their own mouth, rendering this position even more thankless.

In the words of George Braque, 'Once an object has been incorporated in a picture it accepts a new destiny." Every scene becomes a picture, a memory set down in time. All the people in the scene become objects in the picture. The diplomat who never voices an opinion or holds a position except as peacemaker becomes a part of the opinions expressed, even though they may be in total opposition; a rarely sought after destiny.

This kind of posture occurs over time... As in the time when you were uncertain of which stand was correct, growing up in a loud dysfunctional environment that required the presence of a peacemaker, imagining that you are in a group who held a far more important position than you and a host of other issues that silenced you. People become accepting of this role when it becomes valuable to others in their circle. Even if it is uncomfortable it lends value to their presence.

Much like the old frog in the pot syndrome that is typically associated with abusive relationships, those who accept your silence become your abuser. A frog that is placed in cool water will sit still and be boiled alive so long as the temperature is slowly increased. That same frog placed in boiling water will immediately recognize the danger and jump out to save itself. It is a long cool boil that silences a human into submission and acceptance of never daring to speak up or out. It is also dangerous; this person is fated to build up a resentment at those who never seem to notice their silence or lack of participation.

It is worthwhile to take a chance and take a stand by testing the water if you are the one afflicted. You may discover you don't even like the company of those who never noticed or asked about your thoughts or feelings. That's not a bad thing; you are standing for something important. Yourself..