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When it all falls apart, when it's finished, over, the end, done; choosing to live means you're starting over. It is the infinitely better choice. Once you have called the game and ended things, you find yourself marchin' through the ruins of time.
Memories, first the painful ones that led to the ending, and finally the ones that marked the beginning, rise up to be examined, relived and then filed away. Discarding them is a joke, you remember; you always do. It's your choice now. Do you continue as before in the old masquerade? After all, you already know how to play the game!
Humans have an uncanny ability to live through horrendous and painful events, be rescued, survive, heal and head straight back into the same thing they ran away from. Like a moth to the flame, they gravitate to that which is familiar. Awareness that it could be painful and dangerous soon turns to acceptance that this is the way their life goes and that slight thrill that maybe they will survive it. Like the seasoned gambler with the dice in hand, they need to roll it one more time; life has become a game of chance. Maybe they will win this time, maybe things will change... even though they have changed nothing.
Is this you? Then you have chosen to march in a no soul parade, having traded your soul for the opportunity to dance with chance. Oddly, it is the more typical choice; change is hard for humans. You resist that which is unfamiliar and race back to play the game by the rules you understand.
The best part about endings is the opportunity for new beginnings. Once you have finished the final chapter on the old story you are faced with the opportunity to do something different. Why not change the masquerade costume you wear in life and play a new role?
You can follow all the advice you already know, including seeking therapy. If you have not done so before there is a good chance you won't this time; or you can cast your dreams into a new beginning. It's free. You don't have to do anything or go anywhere, it all happens with you and within you. You must be willing to do the dreaded thing; change. How is that possible?
Refrain from rushing back into anything that has become familiar to you during the time you were in the situation that has recently ended. Many times the habits and patterns of your life, the things you enjoyed, are traded off or forgotten when a new person or situation enters your life. You do this to compromise and accommodate the person or situation, never realizing that you have traded off bits and pieces of yourself.
Make a list of all the healthy and happy things you used to enjoy and no longer do. Go as far back as your mind takes you to things that used to matter to you. The longer the list the better; the items can be very simple. 'I read books, read the newspaper every morning, got up at 6:00 AM, went for a walk, loved to dance... list all the things you used to enjoy doing and stopped, for whatever the reason. It is not necessary to share this with anyone else; it's about you finding you, again.
Pick something from the list each day, at least one thing, and do it no matter how small or trivial it may appear to be. Add it back into your life, one each day. If you only change the time you get up or go to bed by ten minutes a day, you have altered the energy for the entire day. Simple things make dramatic change painless. Change is the goal you are seeking to get out of the parade and back to being you at your finest.
You join the no soul parade when you have traded off your individuality, passions and creative joy to accommodate someone or something else; when you lose yourself.
Those tiny things that you gave up matter, they are you expressing your own desires. Put them back in your life and reclaim yourself, you, your soul; that which is the essence of you.