When All You Want To Be Is Done!
Where do we go? Some simply die, they suddenly acquire an illness that takes them out of their pain, or they commit suicide. Others run away, some hit the streets and watch in horror as life as they knew before disintegrates. Some turn to alcohol or drugs, seeking an anesthesia to stop the pain.
Sometimes, we can't take anymore. All we want to be is done. This emotion happens to us when our soul is weary; we don't have the energy or enthusiasm to continue the journey. Sometimes, life is painful, and we just want it to end. Where should we go?
Back, back to remember the person we were with no one else in our lives, way back. Back to the child who had hopes and dreams and aspired to be more than most people could believe possible. Back. When life begins to feel like you are trudging up the rough side of the mountain, when every phone call or conversation feels like another bolder added to the pile on your back in the trek up the path, you are approaching a dangerous curve in the game of life.
Too many times this happens when we take on things that are not our cross to bear, when we fall into an abyss that opened from someone else's addictions or emotional dysfunctions and suddenly our own live is enmeshed in dread. And there we are, on the dark side of the mountain.
The risk we take when we trust and give our love to anyone is that of being hurt. Of someone betraying our trust or even, leaving through the natural process of dying. And we are left to pick up the tiny pieces our heart has shattered into. Sometimes, it seems too difficult to be victorious in repairing the damage.
Your victory comes when you make it though this dark passage. It begins when you stop walking up the rough side and sit down. Be still. Put down the baggage, the burdens you have been carrying, and take a moment to feel you, just you. Look deep inside and recapture the joy of your youth, the promise of everything you dreamed of before all of all your dreams shape shifted into tragedy.