Never Gave Up On You

Have you ever loved someone so much you simply could not or would not give up on them because you cared too much? What lies behind this kind of commitment? It is good for you; is there a time to let go?

When you stand behind someone, and catch them when they fall; when you can't see eye to eye and all your friends say it can never work, you are standing in faith. This is pure intent in its finest hour. Pure intent is pure love. It allows you to stand strong when a child is struggling and screams their hatred for you, or when a partner intentionally makes your life as rough as possible because they can't envision their own sense of self-worth being restored.

Sometimes people you genuinely love let you down, they make mistakes that affect or almost destroy your life. Your first inclination may be to pack their bags and set them out the door, even when it's your own child. Refusing to give up may mean you will be treated to unimaginable mood swings, sleepless nights and the acceptance that you may never understand their concept of what is right or wrong. Yet still, you refuse to give up. This happens to us when all we can see is the best this person can become, when we refuse to accept the role they have decided to play in their own life story. It's easier to give up, to let go and walk away with a shake of your head.

In some odd way, this creates a trauma bonding. It is one of the strongest bonds in human emotions. If things smooth out and the loved one finds their way back to the path where they veered off course, their debt of gratitude guides them to a higher summit than they knew existed when they began their descent. They trust you and their love is unconditional. You earned this when you stayed to see it through.

The most dangerous part of this is not allowing yourself to be dragged into a cesspool of unhealthy emotions or allowing your personal moral boundaries to become compromised. It requires standing strong on what you know is right or wrong while removing the filters of judgment about the actions or beliefs of the one who is struggling.

You must also must know when to fold em,' when to let go. It is time to let go when you are in danger of losing yourself, when the price is higher than your own soul can withstand without becoming seared. The real acid test of when to let go is when you have tried as hard as you can try, when you have done everything you know to do and most importantly, when you have done everything you came into the relationship to do. And when you have, and nothing has worked, it's time to let go and let God take over completely.


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