Why Do We Fall In Love - Can We Control It

Why do we fall in love? Why do we love someone or even something and reject or hate others? It began shortly after that magical first breath. Consciousness of life itself hails the birth of all of our senses. And love is a sensing thing! Even at birth, we fall in love. Our mind loves what it perceives to be a pleasurable experience. The first warm loving touch of our mother, a blanket that makes us feel secure, food that nourishes us... all are pleasurable experiences that are repeated and interpreted as love by our brain.

When we fall in love with another person we always recall the sounds or what we saw and even the smells in vivid detail around the time when we accepted the emotion was love. We also recall the first time we met, the first time we locked eyes, the stolen glances, all of these are pleasurable experiences the mind perceives to be love as they are repeated. Once the pleasurable experience happens, we are unconsciously trying to repeat it as often as possible. We love the pleasurable feeling.

The same reasons are in place when we fall in love with an object, a game, a sport or anything else that becomes our passion. Something about our introduction produced a pleasurable experience that our mind seeks to repeat.

When you mind drifts to a place that you love to visit think about the first time you were there. Your mind recorded everything about the introduction. The weather, the sights, sounds, smells; all recorded by our senses. That first impression determined whether the experience was pleasurable and therefore worth repeating to get the same high our senses perceived or whether it was rejected because we sensed discomfort or pain.

When our senses pick up negative responses to a person, an object or a surrounding it is interpreted as pain by our mind. Our emotions instinctively contract when pain in any form is perceived. We withdraw from whatever has caused that impression and record it as a bad or negative experience; one the mind does not desire to repeat.

When our mind receives a pleasurable response from our senses to anyone, anything or any experience our emotions are expanded, we are seeking to allow more of that pleasure to come in. An intensely pleasurable experience can actually lead us to liberate ourselves from old thought patterns or ideas.

If it seems like you fall in love with people or things that later become painful or are predictably going to turn out badly, like an addiction or falling in with people who are bound to lead you off your chosen path, pay attention to your senses when you are approaching them. If you are sensing pleasure in a situation that is not in your best interest, use the mind for what it is very capable of doing; shut the senses down and reinterpret the situation.

On the flip side, if you are overly cautious and prone to pass up things you later wish you had stopped to examine more closely, pay attention to why you are receiving a negative impulse from the senses. It may be based on fear or past events that no longer should have any kind of hold over your emotions. If you discover this is the reason you are imagining the person or situation to be painful and feel the desire to withdraw, reassess it knowing why it was misinterpreted.

We have far more control over whom and what we fall in love with when we understand what triggers the emotion and the desire to repeat the pleasurable experience.