The Sounds of Silence After You've Gone

 Isn't it strange how silence can speak so loudly after you lose someone you love? It's glaring from the cell phone that doesn't ring, the missing notice of a text that doesn't arrive, the absence of the tone announcing email messages; even the missing familiar sounds of footsteps that were so endearing and familiar. These are the sounds of silence as we adjust to a profound loss in our lives.

Who could have imagined how much technology would be a part of all those reminders? We grow accustomed to those little tones and different rings reminding us that someone cares and has taken the time to send a note or reminder or just to share something they enjoyed. It is a stark reminder of the times past when we wished for peace and quiet or a moment to ourselves as we hunger for one more chance to share time with the one who is gone. We are left with a cell phone log that reflects the times they called, precious emails we save forever and those final text messages reminding us of what we were doing together before our world shook and changed forever.

Favorite television programs play and all we can hear is the missing laughter we shared, the discussion about current events and hearing their thoughts about what is happening on the news. On the surface it seems that nothing has changed, yet everything is different. Did we ever imagine how much we would miss the sound of their voice or even the lasting disagreements that became a shared joke for years? Our lives together assume a pattern, carefully crafted by our schedules and plans; suddenly there are no plans to make, no regularity left in our lives. These are the continuing sounds of silence we adjust to after our loss.

It is a blatant reminder of how precious our memories are. We find ourselves playing the last voicemail over and over, just to hear their voice one more time; an effort to reach out across what has separated us and connect again. Voices are so individual to people. We cling to the sound and revel in that moment, hoping to touch them again in any way possible.

Once we emerge from the shock of the loss, we realize how much sounds influenced the life we shared by the stark silence that has replaced them. One day we begin to realize their voice was never stilled. It lives on each time we encounter something we shared before and suddenly hear their words and relive that moment that was so carefully preserved in our own memories. Memories are simple moments set down in time or places that we love to revisit. It is the final gift we are left to embrace after they've gone.