For The Good Times

 Good times are where our perception is stowed as memories. Our observation of good times is determined by what we were facing, where we stood and how the outcome weighed against our anticipation of what was to come. Memories are where we store the emotions from events, thankfully. At the end of every event in life the memories remain to comfort, remind and teach us. Memory is the place we store the warmest and the harshest emotions we have experienced in life.

Good times are a personal assessment; to the homeless it is being welcomed into a safe and comfortable place to rest with a warm meal. To those who have lost a loved one the good times are always about before their loss. To the aging the good times are about being healthy, mobile and young enough to participate in their favorite things. To teens they are about events they have participated in, favorite times when they discovered new emotions and things they really loved to do. The determination of 'good times' is all about what we are facing and where we are in life that becomes a part of which times are the good times.

Would the outcome and memories of those times be different if we were more aware of 'now' when we were experiencing them? Maybe so; most people are involved in activities throughout any given day while their mind is miles away, planning events that are not yet here. We have trained ourselves to think ahead, to multi-task rather than to enjoy the moment, never imagining it may be the last time we will be able to do so. If we had known, would we have done it differently, paid more attention to things that might have changed the outcome? The answer is almost always yes.

The best change we can make in any new beginning is probably to be more aware of what is happening in that moment, to enjoy the feel of the air, the sounds and to really listen to the people we care about. The people we choose as 'best friends' are those who take the time to really listen and respond with compassion and empathy. What they are really doing is sharing this moment with us rather than forming a response to what they imagine we are going to say. That's what really listening means. It means hearing what a person is saying and not prejudging or preparing a response that we characteristically offer to them. It means dropping the filters and bias that may have been the response from so many others and simply letting another person express their feelings honestly.

As we search to find the good times in our life, those we cherish and embrace it may be valuable to understand what made them good. If it is something we have control of there can be far more good times by simply making that a habit in the future... for the good times!