Behind the Tracks of Our Tears

 What lies behind the tracks of our tears? How is it that a road that seemed so promising suddenly turned to take us to a place where unbridled tears fall like rain drops from a storm? Looking back we can only see the things we believed in, the things we were sure were so right. Yet the real cause is found when we delve deeply to examine the caution lights and even red lights we ignored or excused in our eagerness to believe.

Choices, choices, choices; that gift that sets us above even the angels is the seed that sprung forth to deliver those tear drops. Our excitement at discovering someone or something that seems to deliver all that we have been searching for is flawed by our willingness to be deceived. We see the warning signs, hear the words that portend heartbreak in our future; still, we so want to believe in the magic we have created. And so we ignore the signs, like ignoring the caution signs on the road and speeding through the red lights. Placed to keep us safe, they also impede our path to a place that appears to be a desirable destination. And fate will deliver us to the place we are speeding to.

From our early teens we begin to focus on the things we want in our lives. We watch our parents and our siblings mingle and grow together or apart; these are all things that shape what we intend to create as our own destiny. Either we mimic what we see, determining it is desirable, or we doggedly determine that our lives will never be the same as theirs. And this is the beginning of our choices in life. Like the captain of a ship, we have set our course, even at the tender age of our early teens. Is it possible that our judgment was flawed at such an early time in our lives? Unimaginable, yet possible!

When the inevitable crash or clash with society comes, we find ourselves alone and saddened by the collapse of our dreams; tears falling freely down our cheeks with no one to dry them with loving care or help us put our world back together again. We have placed our faith in something that was only a mirage, one that we created and believe in and maybe even trudged through the trenches to keep it alive as it beckoned us forward towards inevitable heartbreak.

Why, why did it happen when we have tried so hard, we ask ourselves? The truth is it was always happening. It is a continuous process, this road to despair. It grew more painful as we sped past the warning signs and excused the inexcusable behavior that confronted us. As we ignored the words and warnings that were really red lights; those that said it is time to stop and make a turn towards a destination that is far more likely to bring real joy and happiness to our lives.

We are all masters of creation; we want to believe in what we have created. That it is good and lasting; and so we stubbornly pursue the destination we imagined as perfection. What we believe creates our destiny, where fate waits patiently to deliver it exactly as we set it in motion. Our dreams that we have fashioned into this pursuit are limited by what we truly believe we can achieve. It is here that the flaws of our choices our born. Only when we are willing to have faith that we are deserving of a better life that fulfills our deepest desires will be able to pay close attention to those warning signs and red lights. We speed past them because we believe that what we have created is the best our life can be, when in fact there is so much more we are capable of attracting and creating.

When our soul truly knows and accepts our worth we will never accept less than that which propels us to the path that leads us the place where we can grow to become all that we are worthy and capable of, all that we have dreamed of becoming. It is that persistent enemy fear that cements our feet into a place where pain is a certainty. A pain that arrives in a rush of tears that track down our cheeks, unchecked and unfettered as we search for where we went wrong. The road turned when we accepted things that were unacceptable, when we excused the inexcusable and tolerated behavior that we were undeserving of receiving. These are the choices behind the tracks of our tears.