Love Ain't No Thinking Thing - Or Is It?

 "I lost my head when I lost my heart... ," are the famous last words spoken with a wide smile as we describe how we felt when we met 'the one!' Is it true; do we really lose our heads when our heart takes command of our future? The truth is the heart has long been considered the third brain, sitting in the company of the one we all recognize between our ears (the unemotional fact gathering one), and the one we call 'gut instinct' where we are prompted to be careful or slow down. The heart gathers information from its two companions and makes a choice based on facts, instinct and emotion.

We don't really lose our head when we choose to commit our heart; a decision has been made by engaging the very best assessment tools we have to draw from. Why is this necessary? Because it is the biggest commitment we are capable of making. When we put our heart into anything it is fueled to the maximum capacity we are able to achieve. It's a big deal, this giving of the heart! It means we're 'all in.'

Does this mean that when your heart seems broken, when you've just survived a total eclipse of the heart, the very best you are capable of drawing from within was simply wrong? Was your decision somehow flawed? When your heart is engaged, it is not a mistake, even when your choice becomes more painful than you ever dreamed you could endure. The best of you does not choose unendurable pain or anguish. More often, something beyond your control opens the door for such pain.

This can happen when someone we truly love dies unexpectedly, leaving us bereft and wondering how tomorrow will ever come again. We are left with a beautiful experience that lasted far less time than we were willing to commit, and it's painful beyond belief. Yet our soul was filled with joy as we shared the blessing of a love that special.

It also happens when someone we love makes a choice that does not include us. Sometimes it is that willful part of all of us called 'choice' that allows us to stay committed in this kind of situation. We ignore facts and choose to remain where pain is the inevitable outcome. These are the kinds of situations that leave us doubting every relationship, doubting ourselves; they leave the most lasting damage because we doubt our ability to choose wisely.

Whatever the outcome in your choice to love, it probably is one of the most 'thinking things' you will ever engage in. Every part of you that is capable of contributing to making a choice has participated; no matter how it feels in the end, it lifted you personally to a higher place. And it was right and good. Regardless of the final chapter, you are a better person for having dared to love, commit and believe.